Mary Kay and its predatory sales tactics has helped destroy marriages, break-up and bankrupt families.
There are countless husbands whose wives, unbeknownst to them, have fallen prey to “The Pink Fog” and put their families’ financial security at risk.
Unfortunately, in many cases, husbands don’t learn of it until it is too late.
From one guy (who learned about the Mary Kay scheme the hard way) to another, here’s some practical advice…
Take Control Of Your Finances & Your Home
Yes, our spouses should be our partners in life, but understand this:
The Pink Fog. Mary Kay Cosmetics has had more than 50 years and tens of billions of dollars to perfect the manipulative tactics it uses on women.
Due to its cult-like manipulations, in many cases, behavior traits of those within Mary Kay begin to resemble those of people who are addicted to such vices as gambling or drugs.
As a result, you are going to be dealing with an entity that uses cult-like tactics to manipulate your spouse.
Further, unless she sees through it immediately, the chances are YOU will be the only one in your household who can prevent irreparable harm from happening to your family.
Lastly, you MUST be prepared to protect your family…alone–even if that means letting your spouse learn to fail within Mary Kay on her own:
While you need to be prepared to fight for your marriage, if the cult-like manipulations take her too deeply into The Pink Fog, you must be prepared to fight to protect your children’s financial future, as well as your own.
The sooner you prepare for this battle, the better…Because, more than likely, unless your spouse can see through the manipulations, this will become a battle for the heart of your household.
First and foremost, take control of your finances NOW.
If you are the main breadwinner in your family, it is important to realize that, like a parasite, Mary Kay Cosmetics cannot survive without YOUR income supporting it.
- You are being (or are about to be) used by an entity that preys on women, likely knowing that it is the husbands who end up footing the bill.
- Understand this NOW: You are very likely the one who is going to end up paying for your spouse’s mistake of going into Mary Kay. If you’re like so many others, Mary Kay is going to hurt you financially, hurt your marriage, and hurt your family.
- Her debt is your debt. In most states, debt that is accumulated by one spouse is borne by both spouses. This means that if Mary Kay convinces your spouse to put inventory on a credit card and she goes into debt–YOU are also in debt. Sorry, pal, marital law sucks that way. Welcome to the world of Mary Kay.
- Know this going in: In many cases, Mary Kay’s sales force convinces women to HIDE stuff from their husbands. Don’t believe me? Check out the Husband Unawareness Plan. The deception starts at the very beginning of the Mary Kay hype.
- If you do not take control of your finances NOW, more than likely, you WILL get taken to the cleaners later.
Secondly, do NOT become Mary Kay’s bank.
Do NOT allow yourself or your family’s future to be used financially to fund Mary Kay Cosmetics.
- If your spouse is being manipulated like so many others have been, she will likely be talked into purchasing a “store”–often $1800 to $3600 worth of product. This is called front-loading and it’s one of the ways Mary Kay makes its billions by destroying families’ finances.
- Unless you give her permission to drain your financial resources or put your family in debt, she will be encouraged to put debt on a Mary Kay credit card.
- Every month, sit down and go through the numbers of her Mary Kay “venture” with her. Do NOT skip a month. If you do, you may find out you’re thousands of dollars in debt–within a month or two. Also, if you don’t know, learn the basics on business profits and losses. It’s not hard.
- If she’s losing money (which means you’re enabling her to use you to fund Mary Kay), agree to a short time limit for Mary Kay to make money, or she gets out. [Yes, that is an “ultimatum” and it sounds harsh, but here’s the deal: If you don’t do it, you and your family will likely be raked over the coals financially.]
Thirdly, be prepared to quickly CUT her (and her Mary Kay “business”) off financially.
- This sounds like ‘Tough Love‘ and, in a way, it is–but it’s for you and your family’s own good.
- Like a parasite, in most cases, the ONLY way Mary Kay can survive is if spouses use their husband’s income to survive. If you don’t allow that to happen, more than likely Mary Kay will not be able to survive in your home long enough to destroy it.
- Here are some practical ways to make Mary Kay stand on its own or to quickly expose it for what it is before it takes ruins your family’s future:
- Separate your checking accounts
- Insist that whatever bills she would be paying by working a normal job is covered through her Mary Kay income.
- Make sure you see every credit card statement that enters your home.
- Run periodic credit reports to ensure that no new or hidden credit card accounts have been opened that would further jeopardize your finances.
- Start looking for excessive amounts of inventory. Don’t be surprised if it is hidden in different places inside your home, and even outside your home.
- If she has, or insists on getting, a Mary Kay credit card, cut up all credit cards with both of your names on the account. [If she is putting inventory on a Mary Kay credit card, she will likely max it out, and everything she makes in Mary Kay will be going toward making the minimum payments on the card.]
- If your spouse gets health insurance through you or your company, insist that she get her health insurance on her own through Mary Kay.*
- If you are paying for her car insurance, insist that her Mary Kay “business” pays for her car insurance.*
- If you are paying for her cell phone (or an office line in your home), insist that her Mary Kay “business” pays for those her phone(s).
- If you pay the mortgage and utility bills, determine what the square footage is that is being used for her Mary Kay “business” and insist that her Mary Kay “business” pay its portion of the mortgage and utilities.
- * Note: Because the lack of health and car insurance can put you personally at financial risk, you MUST insist that your spouse have and maintain these first and foremost before investing in any Mary Kay inventory.
Fourth, be prepared to become ‘The Enemy.’
Like many cults, many within Mary Kay’s sales force manipulate their targets by convincing them to exclude anyone who may question or criticize Mary Kay.
As a result, if you see through The Pink Fog before your spouse does, she likely begin to treat you as an enemy. Your home life will likely become more tense. You’ll be told you’re “unsupportive,” you “don’t understand,” or you’re a “negative influence.”
Whistleblowers within Mary Kay have told of (at least) one National Sales Director who convinces women that, if their husbands do not support them within Mary Kay, they “may be in an abusive relationship.”
Here are some things you can do to help save you, your family and (possibly) your marriage before it’s too late:
- Do your research and get the facts. If your spouse has already gotten sucked into Mary Kay and bought the hype, the chances are you have to some degree as well. Learn the truth about how dismally most people do in multi-level-marketing schemes.
- Talk to your family (and hers). Your spouse has fallen prey to an entity that uses cult-like tactics to manipulate women. While she may resent you for talking to your family about this issue, you cannot face this alone if you want your family to survive intact.
- Build a strong support network. While you may think you are alone, you are not. It is not shameful to reach out to friends and loved ones during times of crisis. Understand that, within Mary Kay, her area or unit is a group of women–most of whom are also in the Pink Fog–and they will work to turn your spouse against you. You will need the help of a network to cope with the times you feel most alone.
- Don’t be afraid to call a spade a spade. All-too-often, Mary Kay’s sales people lie–either by omission or commission. Sometimes, it is the seemingly innocent (but destructive) “fake it, till you make it” mantra they repeat to themselves. Other times, it is out and out dishonesty: the puffing up of their numbers to recruits, to their husbands, and to themselves–all the while hiding their debt. In sum, they lie to others and, most destructively, they lie to themselves.
If they do not know the truth, many Mary Kay husbands suspect there is something amiss with their spouse’s involvement with Mary Kay.
However, in many cases, in order to “keep the peace,” they hear and watch the lies and deception without saying anything. They mistakenly believe their wives will “wake up” someday.
The problem is, this ‘enabling behavior’ only makes the matter worse–especially the deeper she gets into The Pink Fog.
When you see a lie–even a white lie–call her out on it. Liars can only survive as long as their victims either believe the lies or let the liars think they do.
Fifth, get counseling NOW.
The chances are, while Mary Kay has a hundred ways to target its victims and its sales force is trained on how to identify and exploit women, your spouse was receptive to the manipulations because there may be some need in her life that she feels is unfulfilled.
Regardless of whether you may be part of the problem or not, you and your spouse need to identify what she feels is lacking in her life. It could be in your marriage (be open to listening), or it could be something else she needs to deal with as an individual.
Whatever the cause, seek and get professional help.
Note: This post on Pink Truth is a excellent resource as well:
- A Mary Kay Director’s Husband Speaks Out On How To Be ‘Neutral’ On The Numbers
- Pink Truth: A Husband’s Response to a Sales Director Quitting
- Pink Truth: Husbands, Stand Up Against Mary Kay
- Pink Truth: A Mary Kay Husband Speaks Out
- Pink Truth: What Your Husband Doesn’t Know Won’t Hurt Him