With fifty years to perfect the heavy pressure and manipulative tactics it uses on women, many women who fall prey to Mary Kay predators do not realize how flawed the Pink Pyramid is until they are inside.
For many, it takes years. For others, however, they realize it before it is too late and they get out.
Below is a recent email exchange between a Mary Kay consultant who realized that Mary Kay’s true costs were taking too much of a toll on her finances and marriage.
I wanted to let you know that the past few days I have been thinking, praying and researching. After much prayer and thought, I have decided that Mary Kay is just not for me, it’s not what is best for me and my family. I will be returning my inventory to the company and will re-pay you what I owe you with what I get back.
I started seeing red flags right after I started, but since I grew up in a Mary Kay home; I did not want to see the truth, so I ignored them. There are so many things that I have seen as wrong, it’s hard to know where to start.
First, training is not really free, unit meetings are $1-$2, area meetings are $10, career conference is about $500 for registration, hotel, gas, tolls and meals and SEMINAR, was the most expensive, at around $1,000. Second, Mary Kay’s philosophy supposedly is God 1st, Family 2nd and Career 3rd. I have seen the exact opposite since starting. We’re told to not include our husbands in Mary Kay, why is that? Spouses should not keep secrets from each other. Now my marriage is strained, because Mary Kay has been the reason I barely see [name withheld]. So much of my spare time has been poured into meetings, trainings, booking appointments, street fairs, makeovers/skin care classes and weekend getaways (Career Conference and Seminar). I missed some very important events in my family and friend’s lives because of Mary Kay. I have seen others in our area miss important events too, such as celebrating birthdays and wedding anniversaries. It seems that the reality is that Mary Kay should come before all else.
Before the $800 order was placed for me to make star consultant, I had ordered approximately $1,000 of inventory the past few months and had sold most of it, but realized I had not seen a profit, because of Mary Kay’s costs. I was pushed into star consultant even though I didn’t earn it, because how would it look if my business partner, [name withheld], was a star and saw that I wasn’t? Also I was investing in my business. Now I have held many skin care classes since that order and I’ve barely sold $200.
Also I have heard so many times in unit meetings, company events, etc. that the product sells itself. That is far from the truth, I have been great at fundraising and selling in the past, but Mary Kay does not “sell itself”, if it did, most of my $800 order wouldn’t be sitting in the box it came in.
I don’t like Mary Kay’s philosophy, “we tell you information as you need to know it.” At Seminar I found out that not only did I need 24 business partners to complete DIQ (which I knew), but 10 had to be qualified!! (which I did not know).
Also that after completing DIQ, you must go to Dallas for DIT, another business trip around $1,000, yet another expense, when training is supposedly “free”.
Also I found that Mary Kay turns people off. Many people I spoke to at street fairs, warm chattering, etc., once they heard the words, “Mary Kay” from my mouth, they wanted to run the other direction and fast. Being told, “If you think you’re being pushy, you’re not,” seems so backwards to me, when I was told that, I thought it sounded weird, but I ignored the nagging within me. Because of that phrase, Mary Kay has helped push some of my friends away. My one friend won’t even pick up the phone anymore when I call, she won’t tell me why, but I am pretty sure it’s because of Mary Kay.
Ultimately Seminar opened my eyes to everything. I have never been comfortable with the way all of the directors and consultants fawn over and worship [NSD name withheld]. At first I tried to ignore it, but over time it started bothering me more, but again I ignored it. Being at Seminar for 4 days and seeing all of the NSD’s worshipped, that REALLY bothered me and I could not ignore it any longer. And hearing of the women who won the different courts prayed for production and recruits, that did not sit right with me. Then the Beauty Consultant who won the Court of Sales for the millionth times said to “figure it out” and “find a way to make it work”. She made it seem like if myself or other consultants did not have every product imaginable on our shelf then we were not investing enough or did not care enough about our business. I tried to ignore all of that while I was at Seminar and to dig it deep within myself, but on my way home and the day after coming home, I could not ignore those feelings.
Mary Kay uses the information they gather from us consultants when we are most vulnerable to then get inside our heads and hearts. [NSD name withheld] does it, she did it to me and every other woman who has ever watched/listened to her media, attended company functions or the 30 Faces Event at her house and boy is she good. Even though I am a smart woman, I got dubbed [sic]. With the money I spent on inventory, career conference, Seminar, etc. Chad and I could have bought a second car by now. What do I have to show for that money? A box of $800 worth of inventory that I can’t get rid of, samples, my star consultant prize (a very cheap purse set) and nothing else.
Like many Mary Kay directors, reality doesn’t sink in after receiving the above email, as the director never addresses the reasons this consultant is resigning and, instead, tries to deflect it to a “website” (presumably, Pink Truth).
Worse, this disgustingly manipulative director tries to confer some sort of guilt and intimacy in her response: “I am surprised that you want to break up via email after all we have been through!”
[Name Withheld], This doesn’t sound like you, but you can send your stuff back and quit, it would be nice to talk to you first though– can we talk sometime soon? I am surprised that you want to break up via email after all we have been through! Not sure you would listen to my voicemail, so sending this —
I would rather take the product value of what you owe me, so if that helps i can swing over within a few days to relieve you of that burden and sorry to have encouraged you to be a star when you didn’t want to be. Your research was undoubtedly on a website that pounds us, and if you try to post anything positive you know you can’t, right? But in any case, I hope we can discuss.
Going out now with family but perhaps you can call me when you get a free moment.
The next day, when it seems clear the consultant is not coming back into her fold, again not quite addressing the points made in the consultant’s email, the director tries to put blame back on the consultant by stating she wished she had booked more classes.
Sorry to say goodbye via email, but I respect your decision to leave and wish u well. Just so u know, if u send out an email to your customers & offer a 40% off liquidation sale & let them know u are stopping, u will get more return$ than shipping back to mk. And please give them my or [name withheld] info, or if near PA hope u recommend [name withheld], just so they don’t have to search. Then call company & they will send u a form to send back what u have left. Just so u know, you can never be a consultant again, so do take that into consideration as u are young & things might change down the road. If u didn’t return [name withheld] red jacket u can leave w/me. Also any training media that u got from me I would love to recycle. I have to say we always include husbands, thats why we had u over for dinner, to explain the business to [name withheld]….not sure why u think otherwise, and meetings & trips are optional. I would love to address some of your other topics, but thinking it won’t matter what i say right now. Wish u booked more classes, but if you aren’t willing to work then yes, this business doesn’t pay u. Sorry I didn’t get a full year to help u, or view 1of your classes. It might have made a difference. But I do wish you and your family well & will keep the good times in my heart. Hope u can too.
Fortunately, this consultant was able to get out of the shark-infested business of Mary Kay Cosmetics before the cost was too great on her finances and family.
Ephesians 5:11 – Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.